How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
