Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
