pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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