i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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