i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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