Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
