We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
