I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
