I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
