I'm really into asian looking animals
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
