If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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