You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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