we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
