I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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