Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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