dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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