Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I party with great urgency now.
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