question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
