I think im going to throw up on grandma
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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