I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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