You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
