two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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