She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
