just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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