How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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