Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
