Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
