doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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