Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
