Ambien. No doubt about it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
