im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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