this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
