planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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