Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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