Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
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