Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
