I have demons in me.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
