Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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