got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There r osticjed everywhere
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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