he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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