I just cut my nipple shaving
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
