redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
