definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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