what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
