Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
