she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
