I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
