OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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