We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
