Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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